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As one learns to trust God on the surface, the trust grows even deeper, as I learned in a heartbreaking way.  We were surprised to learn we would be expecting another baby on May 1, 2003, and a sudden fear came over me.  It was that "trust" word again....would this baby suffer with medical problems too?  Would I be putting what I had learned about trust into practice again with this new baby?  I soon fell into God's Arms, and decided it was time to begin the trust immediately, as our baby was still growing inside me, and trusted God with whatever He chose for the path for this precious child.  I was unprepared for September 10, 2002, on hearing the words from the doctor, "I'm sorry, there is no way to stop this.  You are losing this baby." ...how could God do this when I had trusted Him?  I trusted Him with this baby, to care for him, to protect him, to provide him with a healthy life.  Why did God not hear me?  And so began another difficult lesson in this word "TRUST"...

Soon after coming to grips with the reality that I was no longer pregnant, a friend handed me some material that she thought would be helpful.  I glanced at it, unable to read the difficult words.  They didn't make sense in those first still very painful days.  But something caught my attention that would surface again later.  One paper said:  

"At the loss of a child, find comfort in the Sovereignty of God.  There is no lost potential, no purpose unaccomplished; there is only the glorious plan of God perfectly fulfilled in a precious little life."

Abraham Frederick

dob: 5/20/89

-a great big brother, caring, great sense of humor, a good arguer

youth leader?

lawyer?

Nathanael Paul

dob: 3/14/91

-always pitching in to help, loves trucks (H2's!), extremely compassionate and caring for others needs

missionary?

rescue worker?

Katrina Joy

dob: 9/8/92

-loves younger children, good sense of humor, always trying to meet others needs, a great friend

children's ministries?

nurse?

Tiffany Grace

dob: 12/27/94

-musically talented, loves school and does well academically, plays well with siblings

church pianist?

teacher?

Winter Hope

dob: 1/13/99

-is a great big sister and seems to be the only one who truly understands Toby's struggles, often encouraging her to take her medicine and giving her helpful "tips" from someone who's BTDT

doctor?

pediatrician?

Toby Faith

dob: 10/19/03

 

 

 

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It's easy to see God's glorious plan performed in my other children.  I watch them grow, I see their personalities and talents, gradually being molded into the people God has planned for them to be.  I can even visualize their futures of how God may use them.  But what plan was fulfilled, what purpose given to that little life, taken before birth, not given a chance to grow or develop a personality and talent  used for God's ultimate plan?  Did God make a mistake?  Was this out of His control?  Of course not!  I may never know God's plan or purpose for this sweet baby, but as I learn more about trust in God, I know that He had a purpose, He was in control, and that He made no mistake!  

In Loving Memory
Jeremiah Samuel Radle
09/10/2002
e.d.d.:
05.01.03